Completely random aside… the title of this blog reminds me of Sense and Sensibility, which reminds me that while browsing in a bookstore over the weekend I saw a shelf of “repackaged” classics — Pride & Prejudice, Romeo & Juliet, Sense & Sensibility — with covers quite similar to those of the Twilight series and tag lines such as “the original love story”. Just found that interesting… now back to the actual post:
I was all set to write about Peace today — specifically about this bible verse:
Don’t be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 4:6-7
This verse is so special to me, because at a time when I was overwhelmed by anxiety and the unknown I did start trying to follow that verse. I memorized the verse, I posted it all over my house, I clung to it for reassurance and hope. I somehow found peace in the midst of internal and external turmoil. That experience made a lasting impression. This bible verse became not just a verse of scripture but MY bible verse, MY promise, MY hope. It’s a good thing that it did. Being peaceful is not my default mode. It should be… but more often I find myself struggling with anxiety and mentally rehearsing the worst that could happen and paralyzed by indecision from possibilities. I’m working on that one… I think it is time to post that verse up some more.
I can’t speak more on peace right now. I’m not there. Where I am is looking towards possibilities… the good kind of possibilities. Having a weekend away… sans children… in a clean hotel room instead of my unorganized (to say the least) house… helped me see how life could be if I just felt like I could relax a little more often (and possibly clean a little more often as well). It gave me some hope for possibilities of a slightly saner life. It reminded me that parenting a 4-year-old (as much as I love him!) can be draining… and that needing time by myself or just with my husband is not just something I want as a luxury but it really is something I need to be able to keep being positive and have a better perspective on daily life. (And, yet, I still feel guilty typing that out). And, of course, missing the little guy reminded me how precious he can be. His Granny thought he was perfect all weekend. I think a lot too how many possibilities are out there for him… and how much it is my responsibility to keep those open for him — to keep him feeling positive and cherished, to show God to him, to model behaviors that will help him get along with others (I don’t always do that). And, of course, being able to hold and snuggle my not-quite-one-month-old nephew reminded me all over again how much possibility lies with the birth of every new child… and how much his life is dependent on having a mommy and daddy to take care of his every need for his life to be peaceful. Lucky for him, he has that.
So… my goal for today… beyond the typical Monday routine of grocery list-making, grocery shopping, catching up from the weekend… is to stress out a little less, prioritize a little more, work on bringing a little more peace to my house and be thankful for the blessings that are already there.