Friends, Peace… just being me.

I’m starting to feel content with my life. I’m starting to feel like I finally have a niche, like I can make plans, like I have some support in life. The last time I remember feeling anywhere near this much at peace was over five years ago. The irony is that then… and now… were times filled with chaos, uncertainty, and much change. Somehow through the chaos, I managed to find peace.

The last few years of life have been filled with emotional and financial upheaval. They have seen my family weather multiple job losses, career changes (YES becoming a SAHM counts as a career change!), moves, depression, and some typical and atypical relationship issues that accompany those changes and learning to be a parent to a rapidly growing bundle of curiosity. I’ve spent some of that time feeling alone and unequipped into handle life. I’ve spent some of that time surrounded by support I didn’t even know I had — from my church family, my extended family… and most importantly a small group of women I’ve grown to know over the last couple of years who I can be myself with. Whatever “being myself” means.

Over the last few weeks and days… I have suddenly realized how much support I do have. I’ve realized that somehow I’ve developed a group of friends I can call on during tough times… who won’t think less of me for doing so. I’ve realized that I have friends whose families are becoming intertwined with my own, whose kids love mine, who are there for both superficial and heart-to-heart chats over coffee. I’ve realized that… while I’ve been trying to figure out who I am in the midst of change… they are there regardless of who I am. I am eternally thankful. It is nice to belong. Today… I am thankful for my friends. I am thankful for the few who have I have known for most of my life… and especially thankful for those who have seen me through life the last few years. I’m starting to trust that it is okay to be me… whatever that may be.

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4 responses to this post.

  1. I have come to realize many of the same things over the past few years. There’s nothing like upheaval and trials to show you what you’re made of and who your real friends are!

    Thank you for sharing your heart today. It touched mine.

    ~Jennifer

    Reply

  2. Posted by Kim U on November 3, 2010 at 10:50 pm

    Awesome! I’ve experienced these same feelings and upheavals in life and am just now finding my way and my place in life. It’s a hard road but it’s an incredible feeling knowing you have the support to keep you going. I am only a fellow blogger but trust you have my full support in your endeavors and concerns. My online relationships matter to me just as much as my personal ones and I wish you much success in whatever you do.

    Reply

  3. So thankful that you have a wonderful support system…it really is vital, as I am learning right now. It almost sounds as though I am going through what you went through a few years ago right now. Financial, relational, physical, emotional issues are just consuming me now. I have that support system too and it really is very touching and heart-warming. However, I need to get better at asking for that help and support when I really need it. I’m not so good with that.

    Blessings to you Melody!

    Reply

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