A is for Apology

First day of the A to Z challenge and I am already behind!  I have a half-written post that I just can’t get to say what I mean it to… and I am abandoning it for the night to focus on other priorities (which somewhat relates to the post anyway).  If I don’t get it up late tonight, it will be up tomorrow and I’ll try to stay on track from there!  Best of luck to all of you blogging out there!

A to Z Revisited

 

Last April I stumbled upon a new blogging challenge from Arlee @ Tossing it Out — to blog through the alphabet in April.  As a fairly new blogger, I was not sure I was up to the challenge.  I made it, and made many new blog friends along the way.  If you have a blog or have thought of starting a blog, consider joining in on this years’s challenge!  The challenge has exploded — so far nearly 400 people have signed up so far!  Arlee and the crew who are helping him orchestrate the contest would love to have 500 bloggers joining in the challenge.

My goal is to start posting a bit more between now and April — I’ve been slacking on keeping up a presence on the Internet!  I am so looking forward to reconnecting with some bloggers I got to know last year and discovering some new blogs and friends this year.  I hope you’ll join in!

He will quiet you with his love and rejoice over you with singing…

I came across this verse on another blog this week… on a day I was feeling very much in turmoil and needed the reminder and impression of peace and comfort this verse gives.

Today I read it in the context of Zephaniah 3.  I really don’t know much about the minor prophets… or the book of Zephaniah.  But basically I get the impression of a people who did not trust God… who wanted things their own way (how often do I do the same?).  And yet… when even a few trusted… God relented.  He did not punish.  He did not give the consequences they deserved.  (If you have read the Bible, this should be sounding really familiar… God has done this over and over again).

The impression I get is of a parent dealing with a child who is upset, overwrought, in a tantrum.  Who won’t listen to what their parent has to say… even if that is what is best.  And yet, God swoops down… accepts the anger without condoning it… and offers comfort, a refuge, a lullaby… a reminder that child is loved.

That’s all.  I could muse a bit on how I am that child at times.  Or on how I am not that kind of parent as often as I should be.  Maybe another time.  This week, I just needed the reminder that I can be irrational, unreasonable, overwhelmed… and still be loved.  And I’m offering what has blessed me in hopes it will do the same for you.

WFW is not about books, authors, artists.. it’s about God and HIS WORD ONLY. WFW is about celebrating the gift of creativity through God’s Word.

Join myself and others as we share at Word Filled Wednesday:

Also, visit Mom’s Mustard Seeds to connect with more women learning and living in the Word

Musings on A to Z…

I recently completed the A to Z challenge to blog through the alphabet with daily posts in April. I was interested in the challenge because I had just started a blog (again) and thought the challenge might inspire me to get into the habit of blogging. I wanted some ideas for writing… and I liked the idea of having encouragement along the way.

I started the challenge with a bit of a plan. I had certain things I wanted to write about. Then I kept getting inspirations that demanded to be written instead. (Or, to be honest, some days I took the easier way out instead of struggling to write on an important but difficult topic). So… you’ll have to wait for my musings on community, grammar, systems, trust, womanhood. And that is okay. One of the lessons I need to learn in life is how to just go with the flow… trust… not feel I have to plan everything out. This challenge was part of that.

I found during the challenge (as I find anytime that I am writing for a longer period of time) that I was writing more about myself… truly my self… which is not what people who meet me initially see. Not because I hide it… but because it isn’t readily seen, and my day-to-day life doesn’t tend to lend itself to sharing much beyond the superficial. I spent much of the challenge thinking that my blogging is largely self-centered… but, amazingly, people would comment who felt the same way as I did about various issues.

Along the way, I met some amazing bloggers. Our little group of assorted bloggers grew into a community. I learned more about the few bloggers I had known before the challenge, and met many more bloggers I would never have met without this challenge.   I enjoyed visiting others blogs… though keeping up with visiting and commenting was the toughest part of the challenge at times.  I figured out a few ways to help me keep track of everyone along the way (FriendConnect through my blogger account… and WordPress has a similar option to follow WordPress blogs, though they unfortunately aren’t compatible with FriendConnect!)

I never thought of quitting the challenge.   I have a perfectionistic and a stubborn streak that does not let me quit challenges (even some I probably should have in life).   However, there were times along the way that the only reason I made the effort to blog that day was knowing that others were looking for a post from me. I needed that accountability. I learned along the way just how it important it is for me to make time to blog/write.

I am starting… a little… to think of myself as a writer again. I love the thought of being able to keep company with the many fledgling, experienced, and professional writers I have met through this blog. I hope that having readers and knowing that I can help others through my writing (even if just to know they are not alone in day-to-day struggles) will keep me motivated to keep sharing my musings. And I hope that sharing will spill over more into the non-blogosphere world.

I learned more than I am sharing here… today, I’m dealing with brain fog from trying to fend off a sinus headache, preoccupied with thoughts of Nashville flooding (lots of friends and family there, and while everyone is safe there is much to be done), and trying to get motivated to prepare for out-of-town guests later this week (in other words, clean!).  I’m sure that more will come out along the way of what I’ve learned from this challenge!

Thanks so much to Arlee for starting the challenge and to the other bloggers who encouraged and inspired me along the way!  You can read more of their reflections on the A to Z challenge by clicking the links below or visiting Arlee’s blog!

Z is for Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz…

… an homage to Dr. Seuss AND alphabet books.

I grew up with Green Eggs and Ham and The Cat in the Hat.  Oh, the Places You’ll Go! was read by my class president at my graduation from high school.  I fell in love with Dr. Seuss writings again in college when My Many Colored Days came out.  And, of course, parenting has helped me rediscover all anew the joys of Dr. Seuss.  My little boy told me yesterday that his favorite book is The Cat in the Hat… and was slightly distraught when I asked to borrow his copy of Dr. Seuss’s Alphabet book (to make sure I knew how to spell Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz!)

This one I discovered a few years ago.  I have yet to use it, but have decided it is perfect for starting off family counseling sessions… assuming I’m doing that again someday… (okay, maybe not, but sometimes it seems needed!)

Here are a few ABC children’s books we’ve enjoyed over the past few years!  If I did this post correctly, you can click on the book image to go the the Amazon page for more information if you are interested.

And I haven’t read this one, but think I might need to!

It’s been fun going through the alphabet with all of you!  See you on Monday for the recap!

Y is for Y’all

I have lived in Tennessee my entire life.  However… my daddy was born in Tennessee, then moved to Chicago as a child and stayed there for 10 years or so before moving back to Tennessee.  My husband also spent most of his growing-up years in the North (okay, northern Virgina/Maryland, which I suppose is technically the South, but trust me the DC metro area does not resemble the rest of the South).  Between the two of them and some other experiences along the way, I grew to realize that the South has a personality that is all its own.  My favorites to speak about (and occasionally pick on) are food and language.  (I’m sure you can tell from reading this blog those are two favorite areas of life in general, so why should focusing on the South be any different?).

Food… I have to say that food that screams Southern to me is not fried chicken and biscuits… though I won’t turn those down.  It’s pinto beans and cornbread, washed down with sweet tea.  (And, yes, I have drunk it from a Mason jar).  It’s cheese grits (yum!) and country ham (even more yum! because I only get it at restaurants!).  It’s quick peach cobbler with ice cream.  It’s cornbread dressing at Thanksgiving instead of stuffing.  Fruit tea.  Those amazing green beans that older ladies cook and bring to church potlucks.  Banana pudding.  Homegrown tomatoes (I can’t wait until those are back in season!)  I didn’t discover fried green tomatoes until I was out of college… but they are definitely in there too.  And sweet potatoes doctored up with brown sugar and cinnamon until they might as well pass for dessert.

As for language, a group of people is “y’all” (which is not spelled ya’ll!) or “you all”.  A soft drink is a “Coke” even if it is Pepsi, or RC (do other parts of the country even have RC?), or Dr. Pepper.  “Fixin’ to” is a phrase that means “about to”.   We say we “might could” do things and “reckon we should get going”.  Being called “ma’am” is a rite of passage (that at least in my case was met with despair that I was getting older… though I was probably only in my 20’s!) 🙂 .

I also can’t pass up the opportunity (with all of you writers reading this blog right now) to talk about Southern authors. 🙂  Faulkner, Tennessee Williams, Margaret Mitchell, Harper Lee… and I suppose more modern ones such as Pat Conroy and John Grisham as well.  (I can’t say I’ve loved every book I’ve read by all of them but I can say I’ve at least read something from all of them).

There are certainly areas and aspects of the South I don’t love (and most more serious than the heat and humidity in August)… but today, in this post, I’m focusing on the positives. 🙂

Y is for…

It’s Thursday and I’m taking the easy way out for now with a Thursday Thankful post — featuring the letter Y!

Yellow — I’m still getting yellow dandelions daily as presents…. I love it!  These tiny yellow wildflowers (I don’t know what they are called) have started peeping out on the grassy medians of roads here too… they are so pretty!

Yeast — I pulled out the breadmaker last week for the first time in years.  I made dinner rolls twice and italian bread once.  I really enjoyed being able to make some homemade bread and will be experimenting more often.  I have a whole jar of yeast in the refrigerator now so I have no excuse to not make homemade bread…. and it is so much cheaper and tastier than storebought!

You (or maybe… Y’all, since I almost wrote on the South today… and might still)— my blog readers, who have been supportive through yet another week.  Thanks!

And I can’t leave a Y post without paying homage to one of my favorite movies… so here’s a scene from Dead Poet’s Society featuring the word Yawp!

X is for…

X-ray? eXamine? Maybe a bit of both…

I was thinking last night about the persona I present here in blog-land. I think the “me” of this blog is more spiritual, more reflective… definitely more talkative… than the “me” people who see me day-to-day know. I’m undecided on how I feel about that. I certainly don’t want to put myself out there as someone I am not… and you are not going to read anything on this blog that is non-authentically me… but I struggle at times (okay, most of the time) about how I present myself in the world. What parts of myself I show… and when… and to whom. And how in the world that all adds up to me.

Sometimes it seems others have this remarkable ability to compartmentalize their roles in life in a way that I do not. Or they are able to blend everything together into this symphony of themselves in a way I do not. Or maybe everyone has these different aspects of self they show to different people and they are perfectly ok with that. (I don’t mean that I, or others, intentionally mislead people or hide areas…though of course we all do at times… just that we naturally show different aspects of self as we go about the many relationships and arenas we do life in).

So… x-ray… isn’t it great when you meet those people who know what you mean and get who you are even when you can’t quite express that? I absolutely adore my friends who ask how I’m doing… want to know… and call me out on it when they get a “fine” and that isn’t what they wanted to hear (or what I wanted to say). I love it when someone is able to put words (at least words that others can understand) on something that I am feeling and can’t quite express. And I love when I can do that for others as well. Those moments have been among my favorites of this blogging challenge.

(ALso, am I the only one out there who keeps getting middle-of-the-night “inspirations” on what to write that deviate completely from what I had in mind? I don’t think this is the greatest post-of-all-time or anything… but it came up and seemed like a decent idea. I was all set to write on XX — women in my friends and family who have inspired me… or womanhood in general, or something similar… guess I have more material for a later post!)

W is for Writing, Wisdom and Wonder

A number of years ago, when I was a new college graduate, starting a new career, and already missing being in school (I’m weird like that), I took my first class in Wisdom Literature (covering Psalms, Proverbs, and Ecclesiastes in the Bible).  One of the class requirements was to keep a wisdom journal.  Another was to memorize a set number of proverbs.  I often combined the two by meditating in my wisdom journal on how I saw proverbs played out in or applicable to my life.  That journal serves as a testimony to me of some parts of life from that time period.

One proverb that I opted to memorize vividly stands out to me: “In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps” (Proverbs 16:9)… Similarly, “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.” (Proverbs 19:21)  Twelve years later… I am still struggling to learn the truth of those in my life.  They are so much easier to quote than to remember when life doesn’t turn out as (I) planned.  My course may not be God’s course… or even if it is, he may be placing steps in my life to get to my overall goal… even when I can’t see how that path will get me to where I want to be.  And yet, even the times I chose not to validate in writing led me to where I am today — a relatively good place.  A place where I am seeking to find understanding and glean wisdom from past and present experiences.  A place where I am trying to live in the moment and be satisfied with the here-and-now instead of always looking to the past and the future.

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Having a four year old around makes living in the moment easier.  I love looking at the world through the eyes of a preschooler.  Sticks become “worm seesaws”, a rose in bloom is a cause to celebrate, dandelions are precious treasures and symbols of love.  Frogs are cherished and named.  Sometimes I feel that, as adults, we are chastised for that sense of wonder at creation.  And yet, looking at this world fills me with wonder.  Sunrises (not that I see many of those!), sunsets, ocean waves, green trees. autumn leaves — what an amazing world we live in!  God, help me to remember on those discouraging days just how much wonder is in the world.

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Writing is often my way to sort through life… search for wisdom… and capture the wonder.  And I often feel that writing validates that I had a certain experience (even though I intellectually know that I don’t have to write something down for it to have happened).  Not sure if that makes sense outside of my head…

Leaving you with a classic song to celebrate the wonder of our world:

And a poem from e.e. cummings as well:

i thank You God for most this amazing
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue dream of sky;and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun’s birthday;this is the birth
day of life and love and wings;and of the gay
great happening ilimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any – lifted from the no
of all nothing – human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

V is for Vocabulary

I have Jemi and Marcy to thank for this post. Jemi directed me to the blog where I found this post the other day (you must read it!).   Marcy wrote on linguistics on Saturday, which I found fascinating as well.

So, vocabulary. Right up there with diagramming sentences in English class, right? (Well, okay, I liked diagramming sentences, but I’m a grammar nerd).

I can’t decide which way to go with this so it is going to be a completely random post. I find the concept of developing vocabulary fascinating, especially the process I’ve watched over the past 3 1/2 years as my son grew from saying, “Bye!” (his first word, which was bothersome to me at the time because I felt I spent way too much time saying it to him while working “full-time”) to “I want tea!” (his first sentence, requesting the amazing sweet tea from McAlister’s Deli) to telling me today while helping carry groceries that he is strong and has 40 muscles.  Then when I said he has more than 40 muscles,  he decided to look up how many muscles he has on his “imaginary computer” at bigmuscles.com (he came up with that URL, and, yes,  he won’t be let near the computer without supervision anytime soon… there’s no telling what he’d get into!  Also, does the fact he knows that websites end with dot com mean that I spend way too much time on the internet?  In case you are interested, bigmuscles.com is available for purchase and there are between 640 and 850 muscles in the human body, depending on who you ask).  Anyway… the whole process of watching children learn to speak is just fascinating to me.  I’ve never learned a foreign language by immersion but I would assume it is a similar experience.  And then kids come out with the most amazing things to say and ways to use language.  I think perhaps part of being a good writer is going back to the fascination kids have with words and putting phrases together and inventing new ways to see things.

I also find my lack of vocabulary frustrating at times. I overuse words and use lame adjectives and say extremely and actually too often. Then again, I don’t want to sound like a walking dictionary either. (My sisters accuse me of this when we play Boggle… and that is only when I pull out words such as lam. I don’t even attempt words such as qua when playing with them! Also, I must admit I learned the word “qua” playing Facebook’s version of Scrabble and have never used it in a sentence)  I know that even published authors overuse words and phrases at times (I am always struck by JK Rowling’s overuse of the world ‘forcibly’ when reading through Harry Potter books… and, yes, I do overuse the phrase ‘struck by’).  It is  something I am working on changing.

I also thought I’d do the opposite of Talli’s blog post (linked above) and list some of my favorite English words.  I haven’t spent much time thinking of them (I actually thought of doing this in the middle of the night last night).. but here are a few!

• Periwinkle (and many other colors: cornflower, aquamarine, goldenrod… basically I think some of the Crayola color-namers are geniuses)
• Onomatopoeia (I can’t spell it, but it is a great word!)
• Fledgling
• Scintillating
• Cuddle (and also the synonyms of nestle and snuggle, which I found when I looked up cuddle… they just all sound warm and… snuggly.  Now I’m wondering about Nestle chocolates and the word nestle though… is the name supposed to make customers envision sitting in front of a fire drinking cocoa or is there a different meaning?)