Confession

Sometimes I feel like the “me” portrayed on this blog is more reflective… more spiritual… and much less impatient and overwhelmed than I often feel.

So this is more the typical.

Today, I woke up to my husband yelling goodbye to our 4 year old and slamming the door in a rush to get to work. I went back to sleep… only to be awoken a few minutes later by a little voice asking to watch PBS Kids… and I sleepily consented (hoping it was even on, because I had no idea what time it was!)  Got up a bit later to the mass chaos which was my kitchen when I went to bed last night (how is it possible for 3 people to need so many dishes washed so many times a day?)… a husband home for a quick morning break from work… neck pain from sleeping the wrong way…and a brownie for breakfast. TV blaring… incessant questions from the 4 year old… exasperation from me from the noise onslaught… and sudden realization that much of the 5% of things I have left to do for Christmas need to be done in the next 48 hours. A little boy upset at missing storytime because I cannot deal with library drama today… a rush to try to get Christmas wrapping done (only to discover I have no bags to wrap trinkets in), and the realization that it is going to take some creativity to make the food in the refrigerator cover lunch and supper if I really do want to stick to the menu plan.

So I stop the rush… and try to stop the internal frenzy… and try to remind myself that the hustle and hubbub isn’t what Christmas is about… or what life in general should be about for that matter… (if only it were as easy to put simplicity into practice as to long for it…)

With lunch still uneaten but husband back to work and little one having some quiet time in his room, I log on to Google reader for a bit of sanity time… to find my blog friend Jennifer’s post… and a link to tragedy… and a reminder that love and time and letting those around me know I love them *now* is so much more important than getting things done. And yet so hard to balance at times too.

And so I’m about to recall my overtired little boy down from his room… read some Christmas books, take a moment to escape the house for an hour to run a few errands and have a bit of fun. And be, even more than usual, grateful that he is here… and four years old for another few weeks, with all the joys and challenges that brings.

God, help me remember how quickly time passes… and how quickly life can change… and to be grateful for the season of life I am in and the people you have placed in it.  How is it I have to learn that lesson over and over again?  I know how quickly tragedy and bad news can come… and life can change… and yet I am still learning these lessons to be thankful and grateful and appreciate the moment over and over again…

If you are reading this… say a prayer for Dana’s family today… and for so many who are having a difficult time at this Christmas time.

Trust, Peace & a Prayer

Yesterday, my husband and I took our 4 year old to a local pizza place for some pizza and games. Exploring the kids’ area, he decided to ride a small merry-go-round. Before the ride started, he changed his mind. “Too high! I’m scared!” I relented. We explored other rides. After watching him thoroughly enjoy riding in a small car on the ground, I encouraged him to ride in a helicopter. What I didn’t think about… and didn’t mention… was that the helicopter went up and down instead of back and forth. Ten seconds into the ride, a startled little boy peered down  at me, pleading, “I’m scared!”.   I looked into his eyes and assured him, “I’m right here beside you. I will not let anything happen to you.” It worked. He relaxed… and enjoyed the ride… and then wanted to do it again.

How often I am like him. My life has been full of experiences I could not foresee.  Too often  I turn, startled, and exclaim, “I’m scared! I can’t do this! I want off!”. But I too have a loving Parent beside me who tells me, “It’s okay. I’m right here beside you. You will get through this.” My 4 year old trusts me, enough to not only overcome his fears but enjoy the rest of the journey. Why is it so difficult for me to do the same? Father, thank you for the times you have guided me through the difficult, dark, and scary times of life. Help me to trust you unreservedly to guide me through the rest. Offering this prayer for myself and for others traveling their own uncertain paths at the moment… may we all remember that God will give peace through uncertain times.

You will keep in perfect peace
all who trust in you,
all whose thoughts are fixed on you!
Trust in the Lord always,
for the Lord God is the eternal Rock.   –Isaiah 26:3-4

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Some musings on prayer and taking action…

I came across this status on Facebook today: “_____ hopes that people’s prayers fuel their actions and that their actions fuel the praise of God. It’s hard to eat your prayers…”   The post was in reference to Nashville flooding, from someone whose family lost everything.  I definitely understand the reasoning behind the statement.  It got me thinking… it is so easy to say “I’ll pray for you” or “I’ll pray for those people”.    It is much, much harder at times to do something about it and put those prayers into action.  I’d like to think if I was living in Nashville right now I’d be helping out with the cleanup efforts. The reality is, it would take some work on my part to be able to do that work. It would involve finding childcare, or finding an opportunity to help an individual where a child could tag along… or even finding an opportunity to help someone in my home. I have seen Facebook statuses of people offering their homes and playrooms for people who have been displaced to bring kids to play (which I thought was a great idea… maybe it doesn’t help everyone, but to displaced moms whose kids have lost all of their toys and are living in shelters… it’s a big deal.  I’d be willing to bet they would leave with a few more toys as well).   Right now it seems like finding a way to help out… regardless of your situation… is pretty easy.  I just also know how easy it is to say “I’ll pray for you” and then not even do that, much less anything else.

On the flip side… I was responding to a blog post about the Oklahoma tornadoes and typed, “I’ll pray for all of you”. I almost typed, “I wish I could do more”. I didn’t — because of this:  I immediately thought, “By saying, ‘I wish I could do more’, am I saying that praying isn’t doing much?”  I believe that prayer is powerful.  I don’t believe that praying is “doing nothing”.  I know that God can do much more than I can ever do.

I also know that he uses people and community and his church to do many of those things.  We are often the way he puts prayers into action.

So… prayer is powerful… and so is getting out of your head and helping others.

I guess I needed to type all of that out to reconcile the two ideas… and thought I’d share.

What do you think?  Do you often pray more than you “do”?  Do you take action for yourself (or others) more than you have faith that God will privide?  Do you see yourself as part of that provision?  How do you balance prayer with taking action… or when knowing when you taking action is the answer to another’s prayer?

Power of a Praying Wife

If you are looking for my actual “P” post from the Tossing it Out A-Z challenge, read it here.  Then come read this one!

Okay, then.

I came across the link to this from Carol’s blog on the A-Z challenge.  I wanted to help spread the word — On May 1, Halle is starting an online study of the book The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie O’Martian.  I certainly plan on reading along.  I read this book… oh, maybe 7-8 years ago as part of a Bible study.  It is time to read it again.  I even picked it up and dusted it off a few weeks ago in preparation to do that.  Unfortunately, I only got a chapter or two in before abandoning it again.  I think this is perhaps the reminder that I need to finish reading it?

I’d love for you to join us!  Visit here for details!